Good For One . . . . But Maybe Not Everyone

When I was younger, I thought that a good thing for one person was a good thing for another. Showing love and respect is something that each of us want in our lives, right? But how we receive it . . . . well, that is different. And sometimes showing love and respect isn’t about the sprint. It is about the marathon.

I’ve got three incredible boys in my life, part of my ‘adopted by the heart’ family. They’re all about video games, but I’ve set some boundaries. No gaming gifts or cash for games. Instead, I ask what they want, within a budget, and make it happen. It’s tough when one refuses gifts because of this, but I stand by it, because he is more than his current obsession.

Then there’s my dear friend’s granddaughter, diving headfirst into a new relationship. She’s talking marriage and step-parenting after having met the man for one day, all to fit in with others in her life. My friend’s just trying to support her, but is this really in the granddaughter’s best interest?

Why am I telling you these two stories? Because I believe they are similar in that how we show love and respect to one person has to take into consideration who that person is and where they are headed. It is a similar concept to giving an adult a nice bottle of wine for their birthday. If that is something that they enjoy and they have control over it, that is one thing. If it has control over them, that is a whole different issue and, for me, I’ll just find another gift.

Showing a depth of love and respect to others has to be more than actions which make us feel good about ourselves in the moment. It has to support and encourage the long term vision of who this person can or will be. No, it isn’t our choice. But if we are always doing what feels easy for us in the moment, then those that we love have no opportunity to consider more for themselves.

We all have a limited number of days and hours to walk this earth. I have no idea what my number is nor do I know what anyone else’s number is. However, I do know the difference between feeling happy in the moment and feeling joy later on because I had the opportunity to expose someone that I love to an opportunity that they would not have thought of.

What happens with those that we love get angry with us? In my experience, the answer lies in the root of why you made the decision that you made. If it is genuinely about showing love and respect to someone else, it may be difficult for awhile, but it will survive the test of time. If it is for another reason, then you may want to re-examine your choice . . . . or at least re-communicate it.

Loving others isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ experience. It has to be tailored to who they are and who they are becoming.

Here is to your success,

Marsha

Memaw Wisdom Coaching

https://memaw.life

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