Givers and Takers
Are you a giver or a taker? There is a huge difference, right? We all have people in our lives who give and give. We can see their pattern of behavior, and know that they are a giver, because they are always trying to find ways to give to other people . . . . including us. They can be silent and quiet about this, or they can be overt with their behavior, but they definitely fall into the ‘giver’ category. Then there are takers – people who hear and see the world only through the lens of the benefit to themselves. Unfortunately, regardless of how careful we are, the takers slide into our lives. Often, we don’t recognize them early enough in the relationship to minimize the damage that their presence inevitably brings.
Yesterday I was asked a question about the givers and takers in my life. My response? As a ‘giver’ there are times when I need to receive. . . When I have nothing left to give, and am in need of receiving from someone else. Those are the times that key individuals in my life provide me with the encouragement or motivation to continue moving forward. They aren’t empty, and so they have something that they can pour out on me, until I am able to refill and go back to giving. After my response, the person who asked the initial question clarified her question. She was thinking all along that givers need to be receivers from time to time. I loved the clarity that she provided.
So, are you a giver or a taker? I’m going to guess that most of you reading this newsletter are givers. This is great, because we need more givers! I think it is important for each of us to realize that running on empty forces us into a position of being poor givers. We can’t be better at that moment, because we just don’t have anything to give at that moment. So, receiving is an important part of keeping our tank full; receiving allows us to continue to give to others with excellence.
How do you refill your tank? Do you allow yourself to receive so that you can continue to give? “Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”—Brené Brown. When is the last time that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and receive from someone else? I would encourage you to evaluate your current thinking about giving, receiving and taking. If you find yourself yelling at those you love for no reason, or just feeling on the inside as though you are really hacked and yet you don’t know why, it might be a good idea to schedule some time away or allow yourself to receive for a bit. From last week’s newsletter, you can identify your appreciation / love language, and then work to identify how to fill your tank so that you can get back to being yourself.
You never know when someone that you prioritize in your life is going to need their tank refilled. If you aren’t aware of how it looks and feels in your own life when your tank is empty, how will you recognize it in others? Maybe it is time for a conversation with Memaw Wisdom Coaching about developing this skill set of being fully present within yourself, so that you can identify what you need before others pay for the fact that you haven’t yet figured that out. Maybe you would like to participate in one of our fall Mastermind groups where like-minded people interested in personal growth meet. We talk about items worthy of discussion to evaluate our own lives through fresh eyes. Complete the ‘contact us’ form on our website found at https://memaw.life or e-mail us at memaw@earthlink.net. We look forward to hearing from and partnering with you.
September 2020 | Week 2 Edition
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